It's Not Cool to Call Yourself Gypsy.

Joel Wheelock is desperate to be cool. Recently he named his new musical album “Gypsy Cobra.” He described the meaning on his facebook:

“It means I've been a snake and I've done things in my past I'm not proud of. That snake that has evolved into a cobra, meaning with age I've matured. There are snakes in my life that want my downfall. Those snakes would rather see me in a coffin then successful. The cobra protects me from those snakes. It doesn't matter how many snakes I'm surrounded by because I'm more vicious then all of them! I'm a cobra, a gypsy cobra, travel around from city to city to town to town striking venom down! We are hoping to release this album by spring break. If you think this is crazy wait until you hear the record! Salute!”

Joel understands that writing outlandish things may attract press and clicks. That is why he wrote this stupid paragraph about his new album. I feel sorry for the Romani people of Europe, who have historically been persecuted and murdered for who they are. They are mistakenly called “gypsies” because some humans thought they were from Egypt. In modern times, dorks like Joel Wheelock in Minnesota appropriate the slur for self-serving reasons. I also feel sorry for snakes, who are most likely apathetic to Joel Wheelock. Joel Wheelock has no knowledge of reptile conservation, health or well-being.

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Circle Gets Smaller and Smaller Errrydayyy

Many people dislike Joel, because he is a pompous misogynist, among other reasons. Last February, he made a facebook post that said,

“I can't take you seriously if you are active friends with someone who F-ed me over!”

Nobody commented except for himself. His first comment stated:

“Circle gets smaller and smaller errydayyy.”

Joel Wheelock is not unlike Donald Trump in that way. His circle gets smaller every day.

Joel is Embarrassed.

Joel recently removed one of his albums from the internet and tweeted to explain it. He said,

“I removed my album strip club music from my soundcloud today. It was a bad time in my life and I was caught up and living a lifestyle that wasn’t me or how I was raised. I’m embarrassed that I even wrote that and made it public! New Joel, new music, new era!”

Good Joel, now apologize for body shaming women over the microphone and all of your shitty misogynist lyrics on your U Hate it But U Love It album. Then maybe you will start to become a decent person.

FRESH

“Fresh” is a word that Joel Wheelock likes to use a lot. He used it in the Filter Free podcast that is no longer available online. In the podcast, he described new strippers as “fresh,” in contrast to older, more jaded ones. While I worked at Seville, he used it to describe newer strippers as well. What he means when using the word, is that younger dancers are more naïve and easier for him to manipulate. Men like Joel don’t like it when women become more wise to his manipulative ways, so men like Joel figure out ways to make naïve women feel good about being new. That way, men like Joel will have an easier time getting sex and getting rid of people who are wise to their behaviors, like older women who Joel does not describe as “fresh.” Many strippers who have known Joel for more than a few years are familiar with his behaviors, but he keeps getting rid of them by harassing them over the microphone.

Fresh water lakes are abundant in the state of Minnesota, so another way that Joel uses the word “fresh” is in his DJ group, which he named “Fresh Water.” Joel is a very salty man who stock piles guns and is very negative, so it’s ironic that he calls his work “fresh.”

Salty Joel is SO stupid and gross. He is pushing 50 and not fresh at all.

Haterz

Many people hate Joel Wheelock for being a misogynistic sack of shit and arrogant scumbag, a geeky unattractive man who is angry at the world for treating him poorly in his younger life. Here he is with his brother's family. To the right, you can see Joel's description, which acknowledges some of those "haters."

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Sushi

When I worked at Seville, multiple dancers, who I will not name, informed me that Joel asked them out. One of them was asked out for sushi, which I thought was grotesquely hilarious, because I have been harassed and asked out for sushi, which was written about in Vice magazine.

Joel used to stare me down while dancers who he asked out were talking to me. One dancer, when telling me that he asked her out for sushi, said that she decided to ignore him after that and said she had no interest in dating him, because, she stated, "I have standards!"

 

Straight Outta Becky!

Joel's mom is named Becky. Rebecca (Reilly) Wheelock is the woman who birthed the man who sings about date rape and degrading strippers.

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Joel Wheelock has a habit of harassing strippers who he doesn't think have enough curves. He also has a habit of harassing strippers who he thinks are "so white!" It's probably a symptom of his own self-loathe. Joel's mom is a full figured, red haired, Irish-American woman.

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