Shakers Studies: Sash Seamans
Lil’ Sash Seamans is a homegrown Nebraskan. Her dad went to prison when she was a child because he was a meth manufacturer. Mr. Seamans passed his entrepreneurial aspirations down to Sash. After Mr. Seamans went to prison, Sash's mom had a series of boyfriends that Sash had to grow up dealing with. Sash has an assortment of younger siblings. Despite home problems, she was an honor student and succeeded in marching band.
When Sash came of age, she converted to Mormonism. Nobody in her family was a Mormon, but for a time it was what gave her comfort and meaning. She kept a twitter account when she was a Mormon, where she talks about god and slut shames sex workers. Eventually she stopped being a Mormon and became a sex worker. Sash uses her inherited entrepreneurial aspirations to pursue an amateur career in adult entertainment.
Sash has suffered from a wrist cutting problem and anorexia. While I worked at Shakers, she was obsessed with body building. I would describe her as a female version of a man with Napoleon syndrome, because she is very short and spends hours at the gym, attaining an excessive amount of muscles, to compensate for a lack of height, attractiveness and self-worth. She likes to post photos of her pole bruises and muscles on social media, and has described her desire to be a “tough girl.”
I noticed Sash on my first night working at Shakers. She had the distinctive demeanor of someone with an ingrained sense of being Chosen. I recognized it instantly. I was sitting on a bar stool waiting for customers, when a homely little Gonzo-looking stripper in a baby costume came frolicking up the stage steps with sass. It was sickening to see her baby accessories and outfit. I wanted to poke my eyes out.
Sash's stage name was announced. I'm not going to share her stage name on this website, because it is disrespectful to Native Americans. Her stage name is the appropriated name of a Native American tribe. As covered several times on this website already, many strippers love to culturally appropriate their stage names, for personal and financial gain. Sash gave her stage name a last name too, and uses it as her wannabe porn star name. In an act of deluded narcissism, she wrote her fake first and last name on a decorated piece of paper and stuck it to the mirror in the dressing room where she kept her things, as though she was some kind of celebrity or legitimate star in need of a name tag.
During Halloween, Sash dressed in a generic Native American princess costume. She said it was OK, because she thought she might be “Native.” I have since done research and have found this to be untrue. Sash Seamans is not Native American.
Though an unattractive human, Sash spent her youth wanting to be a model. Sometimes when people fail at becoming fashion magazine models, they settle for careers in porn, to satiate their longing for approval, love, and to be seen by an audience.
Most grown heterosexual men with a healthy desire for adult human females would not find Sash attractive. She is extremely stumpy and haggard. Her face is not what most people would describe as pretty. It is unlikely that Sash would make a lot of money or have financial success in adult entertainment if she marketed herself as is. Therefore, Sash takes a different approach to marketing. A lot of kink/fetish/niche performers have to do this. In Sash's case, she caters to adult men who enjoy looking at little bodies in baby clothes. Many people would describe this as pedophilia, but Sash believes there is a difference and describes it as “age play.” She calls her fondness for wearing diapers “ABDL,” which stands for Adult Baby Diaper Lover. Sash kept diapers in the dressing room on the counter, below her self-made porno name tag.
It was traumatizing to work with Sash when she wore those things. I did not consent to seeing that shit and was offended that I had to witness it in the workplace. I considered leaving Shakers during my first week, because of her. All of my stripper associates who I spoke with outside of work told me to run like hell from a place that allows people like Sash to work there. Maybe I should have left then. However, Dan losing the lawsuit and the ways in which he handled the Economic Realities factors were interesting to see. I was making money there, Shakers had other redeeming qualities, and I love Lincoln. So, I stayed at Shakers and tried to ignore Sash as much as possible.
I have mentioned a customer named Gary in a previous post. He was the disgusting old man who tipped one dollar per nude dancer, in order to get attention from them. He didn’t like me because I avoided him and didn’t get nude in front of him. Sash was Gary's favorite. She would sit on his lap in her baby clothes, while he massaged and caressed her. Gary was gassy, as were a lot of Sash's gross old man customers. I don't ever remember Sash getting up from the fart clouds. Often times I would walk past her while she was with one of these freaks, and she would just be in the middle of this noxious odour like a nucleus, while old men cuddled with her. She'd be smiling, like she was happy as hell. She didn't spend a whole lot of time hustling and making money. It seemed as though her main objective at Shakers was to get attention. It is a scab thing to do, because women who are there to make a lot of money are shamed in contrast to the scabs who do things for free.
Sash often preferred to listen to old fart music while she was on stage. Dan Robinson and the rest of the Shakers staff were really into her. They used pictures of her for the Shakers Facebook. This fed her starvation for attention. While I worked at Shakers, she was a sweetheart of the club staff.
Sash does not normally shave her bush or wear stripper shoes. These are two things that I have been bullied for a lot at other clubs over a period of many years. I greatly appreciated working in an environment where those two things were completely socially acceptable. When I came to Shakers, I shaved and wore stripper shoes, because I thought that was the only way to get hired. I was happy that I didn't have to keep that up while I was there.
Bergen was the initial social link between Sash and I interacting. In the beginning, I did not realize how close Bergen and Sash are. They didn't talk a whole lot at work when I started, and Bergen expressed discontent with Sash's diaper wearing fetish. It wasn't until Bergen tried to recruit me for the porn website and began describing her relationship with Sash to me, that I realized how close they are. Sash identifies as bisexual. Both in her personal and porn life, Sash's two main types of sexual partners appear to be pedophile men and creepy lesbians.
Desperate for relevance and fame, Sash had a famous lesbian rapist porn star named Lily Cade come to Nebraska to shoot a three-way video with her and Bergen. Rapist Lily Cade has been shunned from the professional porn world. Despite Lily Cade's rapist past, Sash continues to include footage of Lily Cade on her website. Sash hasn't had much luck in recruiting strippers to do porn on the site, but she has found fat guys from the strip club patron pool, to do spanking and domination scenes with her.
While I avoided Sash at work because I was so disgusted by her, one day in the dressing room she struck up a conversation with me about taxes. Somehow she knew that I had been dancing for a while, and asked me if I do my taxes. She informed me that she did not do her taxes and hasn't met any other dancers who do theirs. I explained to her the long-term advantages of doing one's taxes as a dancer, and why it might be advantageous if she did hers. Other than that conversation and sparse hellos with Bergen, I don't know that I ever spoke with her. Sash had a certain self-obsessed, neurotic, overbearing, nit-picky way about her, almost a caricature, that is common in other regions of the country, such as New York City and Chicago's North Shore. It was weird encountering that type of individual in rural Nebraska, but there she fuckin was, exhibiting all of those distinctive behavioral traits.
I think I accidentally walked past her house one day after I adopted my dog. During that week, I was staying around the cross streets of 27th and O, in Lincoln. My dog was very hyper active and needed me to walk her for hours in a large radius every day, just to burn off energy. We'd go dozens of blocks all over the city. One day while she was running ahead of me on the extending leash, I looked in the distance and saw a little hobbit looking person on the cement steps of a big house. I could have sworn it was Sash, so I turned around right away and started running in the opposite direction with the leash. I didn't want Sash to think that I was trying to find out where she lived, which I wasn't. It was an accident. I wasn't sure if I should have said something to her at work about it, or mentioned that I was staying nearby and just needed to walk my energetic dog. Since I was grossed out by Sash and am reserved around people who disgust me, I just didn't say anything about it and hoped she hadn't recognized me.
One thing I was oblivious to during most of my time at Shakers was the fact that Sash was a reader of StripperLaborRights.com. I knew that the staff was aware of it, but I did not realize how far it went with the dancers until it was too late. Apparently Sash did know about my blog for a while and was reading it. As time went on into late 2017, she developed an obsessive interest in bothering and harassing me. Sash Seamans has been a lot more passionate and had a lot more emotional investment in getting my attention than the other way around.
One night in December, Sash and DJ Steve Loe were talking loudly about a desire to “fuck up” my “whole world.” Steve was explaining to her the things that he likes to do to harass dancers, and Sash was giggling, stating that it would “feel like the walls are closing in!” Sash began doing things like walking past me and saying, “FUCK YOU!” I partially blame DJ Steve Loe for this behavior. He is twice her age, much more powerful and controlling. She's just a little narcissistic dingaling waking up to the world. Steve Loe is a pathetic person, but a person with a lot of influence over the behavior of dancers and how they treat one another. That being said, Sash is an adult and the way she was acting was very inappropriate. She is thin skinned, and like Steve Loe, she has a tendency to get way too wrapped up in small things that don't matter. I don't know why Sash tried so hard to get my attention.
On the night that I told Steve I wasn't going on stage any more, Sash freaked out and got misty eyed. She nervously stared up at Steve from the main floor, as though some catastrophic event just took place. While Steve was freaking out, talking to Dillon privately and temporarily not doing shit on the microphone any more, Sash was busily slandering me to customers and coworkers. To this day I do not understand why she would get so emotional and upset about what I am doing, but I do understand that she is mentally ill and that Shakers is a tiny pink barn without a lot of square footage. Her emotional attachment to Shakers and the staff wasn't very healthy, and the violence that she later displayed toward me was not deserved. Sash Seamans would benefit from seeing a physician. It is easier for me to look at it from a clinical perspective.
Sash's maniacal state increased exponentially in my last weeks at Shakers. I totally ignored her, said nothing and did nothing to her in response. I hustled like a viper and sold the most expensive penthouse VIP rooms out of spite. I would simply make eye contact with a guy, penetrate his soul, and he would go to the ATM machine. Whenever that happened, Sash would start freaking out, run over to the DJ or to Bergen and kvetch about me. My advice to dancers experiencing this kind of resistance when hustling, is that you really have to just become a zen master and clear all of the Sash Seamans types from your mind, focus on the hustle and how to convince someone that your time is worthy of his money.
Sash didn't get it. She would follow me around and approach customers who I just finished with. She would present her unsightly face to them, get rejected, and start stomping and whining. She wasn't that great of a hustler before, but especially during my final weeks, there were many nights that she didn't sell any dances at all. Her energy and attention were mostly devoted to me, while I completely ignored her. It was really weird. I didn't know if I should have said something to her or notified her that I wasn't the enemy. I didn't know what to do, all the while Steve Loe was fueling her fanaticism and making it worse.
Sash didn't understand how I was able to sell dances if I didn't always do anything on stage. For example, there were nights during December 2017 when she and I would be the only dancers working. Sash would be busy gossiping in the DJ booth area with Steve Loe. I would go on stage, lay down in front of a customer, not dance, and just have a short conversation with him before getting him to buy a room. She would start stomping around, angrily yelling that I didn't even dance. I've ran into this a lot over the years from androgynous, body builder type pole dancers like Sash. They mistakenly think that customers care about a dancer's elaborate pole tricks and bulging muscles. What dancers like Sash don't understand is that heterosexual men mostly come to strip clubs to have an exchange with beautiful women, not to see a Cirque du Soleil show. Sometimes customers care about pole tricks, but most of the money is made off stage. Sash was very mean to customers who rejected her during this time, and victimized herself because she thought that being around me and my sales were oppressing her. Sash has an instinct to victimize herself while simultaneously trying to destroy the innocent. It's in her nature. Shakers was fine with her behaving that way, because they wanted me gone. DJ Steve Loe was coaching her to follow me around and copy things I do. Sometimes she would be on stage and kick her legs into the air, inches away from my head, if I was walking with a customer to a room. I probably could have filed a police report on her for a lot of this stuff, but I avoid cops, as I avoided her and everyone else at Shakers who was harassing me.
For some reason that I still do not understand, Sash Seamans called the cops on me while I was working at Shakers. If any of my readers know why she called the cops on me, please contact me through the tab at the top of this page. I never had any police approach me for any reason while I was there. The reason I know that Sash reported me to the police, is because Bergen was talking about it in the dressing room one night. She didn't specify why Sash told the police that I exist, just that I am there working at Shakers. Bergen and some of the other dancers knew that I dislike cops. Since Bergen is a really dumb Bergen from a wealthy Bergen background, she wondered aloud of I was a fugitive on the run from the law, and perhaps that was why I am fearful of police. The true answer, which Bergens don't understand, is that police are murderers with low IQs, who make situations worse rather than better. They almost always harm sex workers and other marginalized groups, and often murder innocent people.
When I started doing my lap dances out on the floor instead of in the Shakers designated rooms, Sash would do this thing where she'd get really close to my customer and I, turn around, bend over with her naked ass cheeks spread apart, and twerk her anus/genitals at us. It was an act of sexual abuse and a disgusting thing to do. It was particularly upsetting to see Sash Seamans do it, because her genitals are so unbelievably weird looking. Her labia are enormous, wrinkled, grey, and dangle between her legs. Her vagina is cavernous. Her genitals reminded me of Arby's roast beef, inside a catcher's mitt. I want my readers to imagine that for a moment-- imagine taking a leather catcher's mitt that's been through multiple games, and then pile a bunch of meaty Arby's roasted beef inside the mitt. That is what Sash Seamans' genitals looked like while she was flapping them at my customers and I during my lap dances, sexually abusing me. One may call me a misogynist for describing her genitals like that, but I challenge anyone to try doing a lap dance and make money while Sash Seamans is exposing her private parts to you against your consent.
When Bergen was available, she would join Sash Seamans in harassing me during my floor dances or when I was talking with customers. This dynamic duo would follow me everywhere I went with my customers, to do lesbian sex acts several inches away from wherever I was, or to violently swing toward me in near-misses. It was definitely sexual harassment and abuse. I didn't deserve it. I didn't do anything to them or respond to them in any way. In all their rat-like characteristics, sympathizing with misogynists and exploitative employers just like Scabby the Rat, I avoided them as best I could. A part of me wanted to leave, but I couldn't help thinking to myself, “How long could I stay on this bucking bronco?”
There were times when I could have easily done things to make Sash feel worse in the club. For example, while I was giving a lap dance in one of the booths, a customer began complimenting me on my long legs. Sash was in the booth next to us, eavesdropping. Sash has insecurities about her stumpy legs, and had a creepy interest in my body type. I could have used that customer's comment as a way to bother her, instead of changing the subject when he mentioned it. I did not care to bother Sash though, because she is relatively insignificant.
There was a time when I expressed to Dillon that I was fearful of what Seamans and Bergen might do to me. Shakers' response was to laugh at me. It gave Sash Seamans great joy and a self-esteem boost that I expressed fear to Dillon. While I am not afraid of Seamans in a one-on-one scenario, Bergen was bragging about their guns. They are mentally ill people. My concern was that Bergen&Seamans would do something to me akin to what happened at the end in Easy Rider. Their frenzied state was that level of crazy, whilst all of the Shakers staff sat back and did nothing but laughed like the disgusting hypocrites that they are.
In January of 2018, after I left Nebraska, Sash made a facebook post about me. She wanted to notify all of the Midwest that I work in clubs and blog about my experiences. Sash expressed anger that I am “entitled,” because I talk to customers and expect them to pay me for my time. She was not happy about my “Reading in The Club” post either, wherein I advised dancers to not get pushed around by people like Steve Loe. Her facebook post exaggerated, by stating that “all” of the dancers came after me on my last night. It was actually only a few, led by Seamans&Bergen. In the comments of Sash's post, she allowed a misogynist named Elliot Henning to post this about me:
“... if that CUNT is there point her out so I know to ignore her ass, I only talk to and be a gentleman to good girls who deserve respect such as yourself and you have always been sweet to me and appreciate how I treat you right. I may not have a lot of money right now but I enjoy talking to you, joining you for a cigarette, giving you a leg or foot rub when you are hurt'n after awhile and just being a real gentleman to you and you are very sweet to me in return...”
His comment would be funny to many strippers, because many strippers do not waste time or energy on men who come in without spending money. Sash Seamans gave out lots of free time and energy to misogynist losers like this, because she is a crappy hustler and a strike breaking scab desperate for love. She has decided to embrace the patriarchy as a source of power and then rebrand it as feminism and empowerment. It's tiresome and depressing and unproductive to have to work around people like Sash Seamans.
Sash has tweeted about a variety of subjects since I left Shakers. She supports the rapist Aziz Ansari, she thinks the $15 minimum wage fight is too “entitled,” she doesn't understand the first amendment, she is a gun nut, and she doesn't like it when people don't use the Oxford comma or use run-on sentences. She is a copy cat who tried being a vegan for a while and who imitates me in numerous ways that she then tweets about. It's a really weird thing to do after a year and a half of my being gone. Sash also takes legal advice from this website and exercises some of her stripper labor rights in her workplaces. She is an avid reader of StripperLaborRights.com.
In February of 2018, Sash Seamans announced over social media that she would no longer be working at Shakers. She removed all of her photos from their Facebook and everything she ever posted about working there. She did not announce what happened at Shakers to make her leave, only that it was “toxic.” Then, on February 19th of 2018, she posted a video on her Facebook. She described an unnamed “shitty guy” who asked for something from her but was “rejected.” She then stated that she told all of her friends about it. She was very upset in the video. The video was removed from her facebook after a short period of time. If any of my readers know what toxic situation happened at Shakers with Lil’ Sash or why she was so upset, please contact me.
Lately, Sash has been contacting a site I write for, called Whores of Yore, trying to get my comrade Kate to take down my posts. That's not going to happen. Sash seems to think that the whole world is like that little pink barn. She's in her mid-twenties now and still in Nebraska, still not understanding the world. She continues to dance at local Nebraska clubs and make indie webcam porn for pedophile men.
Sash probably wouldn't survive as a stripper outside of rural America, because she's not very attractive or interesting. I have wondered if she was doing all that stuff to me so she could get advertising. Any kind of controversy in the media generates advertising, and if I put her porn star name on my blog, it would generate clicks for her.
Despite everything in this post, I do not hate her and never really thought of her as my enemy, competition or anywhere near my level. There is a sweet, sad, ignorant innocence about her, and I wish her the best in navigating the turbulent, exploitative, violent, misogynist waters of this world. I hope some day she will stop hanging out with weirdos, stop dressing in baby clothes, and get out of the industry. I hope she saves her money, retires young and gets the psychological help that she desperately needs.
My advice to anyone dealing with Sash's inappropriate gremlin behavior, is to find comfort in the fact that your life is probably much bigger than her life, and to just let her roll away like a tumble weed on a lonely Nebraska highway in your rear view mirror.