Mankato Memoirs: DJ Will

Mettler's had an extremely creepy DJ named Will.

I first met Will when I danced at Choice in Minneapolis, before knowing that he was a strip club DJ. He used to go into Choice all the time to buy lap dances from me, the late Audrina, and a few other Choice dancers. He came off as an odd looking, cocky loser trying to make his way in the world. I wish I could find a photo of him to show everyone, but I don't even know his last name to look him up. As a descriptive reference, I will tell you that he looked like a short, pudgy, facially warped version of Tiger Woods. I recognized him instantly when I went into Mettler's to audition. I was instantly very worried that he would connect the dots and out me as the notorious Minneapolis stripper who has been suing clubs since 2015. However, rather than doing that, Will began accusing me of having worked at Mettler's previously. He started an argument with me about it that went on for several minutes before my audition. He said that he never forgets a face and that he knew he saw my face dancing at Mettler’s before. He jumped out of his DJ booth with his stumpy little legs and ran over to manager Jan, to ask her if I had worked there before. I didn't bother to notify him that he recognized me because he used to buy lap dances from me at Choice. After my audition, he expressed that he remembered me from Choice. I told him that I wasn’t lying about Mettler’s, to which he replied that he never called me a liar.

Will frequented Mettler’s on his nights off, to buy lap dances from his coworkers. I never gave him one at Mettler’s. He is in his 40's, but used to email dancers who were in their late teens, tell them they are sexually attractive. He would often offer to hang out with them. He had been at Mettler's for a while, so I'd assume the owners knew about what he was up to.

One evening, Will played Rod Stewart when it was my turn on stage. Rod Stewart was absolutely not on my playlist. When I scolded him about it after my set was done, he informed me that the song was in the owner's list of songs they wanted him to play throughout the night. That was an instance of worker misclassification, and certainly opened up the possibility of a class action lawsuit.

When Will would announce certain dancers who he wanted to troll, he would use the same time frame to advertise a type of drink that the club referred to as “blo-job shots.” For example, he would say something along the lines of, “Here’s Inga...BLO-JOB shots available at the bar!” This is a form of sexual harassment.

One night when Will overheard a hurried phone conversation between myself and someone I was talking to, I mentioned that I was under a lot of stress. Will then stated that he could help me relieve some of that stress. After work that night when I was in my usual haunt of the North Mankato Perkins diner, ugly ass Will sauntered in and ordered some fettuccine Alfredo. He sat at my table and told me about his life, starting with high school marching band onward, to how he became a strip club DJ in a po-dunk Minnesota town. I avoided eye contact with him and spent most of our meal surfing the internet on my laptop computer, in order to make him feel insignificant.