The Choice Series: Officer Kyle Waterstreet

“That cop isn’t the worst of them, let’s keep him,” the anarchist stripper said to the SJW lawyer, who nodded his head in agreement.

Folks, you know you’re fucked with the jury pool when that exchange takes place. We were probably doomed from the start, knowing that Officer Kyle Waterstreet wasn’t the worst of them. In the selection process, there were several old white men who were very obviously opposed to worker’s rights, and specifically matters of adult entertainment. We really needed to get rid of those guys first, and used up all of our strikes before getting to remove Officer Waterstreet. Thomas Hoskamer and his lawyer used their strikes to remove all of the black women from the pool. Kyle made it through by default.


The last time I deep googled Kyle Waterstreet, he was a registered republican, living in an affluent suburb of Minneapolis. He is married with offspring.

When Thomas Hoskamer explicitly admitted to misclassification on the witness stand, which is the thing I was suing him for, Kyle Watersteet looked up from his notepad, and jumped a bit in his chair. This gave me a false hope that Kyle Waterstreet’s brain would be capable of comprehending that the defendant was just admitting to what I was suing him for, and that Kyle Waterstreet would be rooting for me. Yes, cops are evil, yes, cops have a maximum IQ limit, but maybe Kyle Waterstreet was a grand exception. I was trying to remain optimistic in court.

When Denise DuPey was on the witness stand, lying about me leaving work early, accusing me of prostitution, Kyle Waterstreet nodded his head in agreement with her, sighed with emotion and wrote something in his notepad.

As I have mentioned, the jury only deliberated for about an hour before announcing their decision. If Kyle Waterstreet had any inkling that I should have won, he certainly didn’t do much about it.