My Bernie Bros and Sanders Sisters, I beg of you, come out to vote today— Michiganders in particular. Michigan has the most delegates to win, and is the most crucial state.

Michiganders are some of my favorite Americans. The rich history of the Hillbilly Highway, Dixieland diaspora and automotive industry people who joined unions is culturally fascinating. It is a raw, genuine, intelligent aura that these Michiganders emit.

A strip club mogul named Harry Mohney and many vile, prominent strip club lawyers familiar with this website are headquartered in Michigan. They don’t deserve to conduct business as they do, robbing poor women of their labor rights.

Trump won Michigan in 2016 not because the voters are bad people, but because capitalist pieces of shit like the Clinton family support NAFTA, call certain Michigan residents deplorable, and do not care about their futures. Bernie Sanders does care about your future though.

SO LET’S DO THIS.

PILLAGE WHOLE FOODS. ROB THE RICH. BERN DOWN THE WHITE HOUSE.