It was traumatizing to work with Sash when she wore those things. I did not consent to seeing that shit and was offended that I had to witness it in the workplace. I considered leaving Shakers during my first week, because of her. All of my stripper associates who I spoke with outside of work told me to run like hell from a place that allows people like Sash to work there. Maybe I should have left then. However, Dan losing the lawsuit and the ways in which he handled the Economic Realities factors were interesting to see. I was making money there, Shakers had other redeeming qualities, and I love Lincoln. So, I stayed at Shakers and tried to ignore Sash as much as possible.
I have mentioned a customer named Gary in a previous post. He was the disgusting old man who tipped one dollar per nude dancer, in order to get attention from them. He didn’t like me because I avoided him and didn’t get nude in front of him. Sash was Gary's favorite. She would sit on his lap in her baby clothes, while he massaged and caressed her. Gary was gassy, as were a lot of Sash's gross old man customers. I don't ever remember Sash getting up from the fart clouds. Often times I would walk past her while she was with one of these freaks, and she would just be in the middle of this noxious odour like a nucleus, while old men cuddled with her. She'd be smiling, like she was happy as hell. She didn't spend a whole lot of time hustling and making money. It seemed as though her main objective at Shakers was to get attention. It is a scab thing to do, because women who are there to make a lot of money are shamed in contrast to the scabs who do things for free.
Sash often preferred to listen to old fart music while she was on stage. Dan Robinson and the rest of the Shakers staff were really into her. They used pictures of her for the Shakers Facebook. This fed her starvation for attention. While I worked at Shakers, she was a sweetheart of the club staff.
Sash does not normally shave her bush or wear stripper shoes. These are two things that I have been bullied for a lot at other clubs over a period of many years. I greatly appreciated working in an environment where those two things were completely socially acceptable. When I came to Shakers, I shaved and wore stripper shoes, because I thought that was the only way to get hired. I was happy that I didn't have to keep that up while I was there.
Bergen was the initial social link between Sash and I interacting. In the beginning, I did not realize how close Bergen and Sash are. They didn't talk a whole lot at work when I started, and Bergen expressed discontent with Sash's diaper wearing fetish. It wasn't until Bergen tried to recruit me for the porn website and began describing her relationship with Sash to me, that I realized how close they are. Sash identifies as bisexual. Both in her personal and porn life, Sash's two main types of sexual partners appear to be pedophile men and creepy lesbians.
Desperate for relevance and fame, Sash had a famous lesbian rapist porn star named Lily Cade come to Nebraska to shoot a three-way video with her and Bergen. Rapist Lily Cade has been shunned from the professional porn world. Despite Lily Cade's rapist past, Sash continues to include footage of Lily Cade on her website. Sash hasn't had much luck in recruiting strippers to do porn on the site, but she has found fat guys from the strip club patron pool, to do spanking and domination scenes with her.
While I avoided Sash at work because I was so disgusted by her, one day in the dressing room she struck up a conversation with me about taxes. Somehow she knew that I had been dancing for a while, and asked me if I do my taxes. She informed me that she did not do her taxes and hasn't met any other dancers who do theirs. I explained to her the long-term advantages of doing one's taxes as a dancer, and why it might be advantageous if she did hers. Other than that conversation and sparse hellos with Bergen, I don't know that I ever spoke with her. Sash had a certain self-obsessed, neurotic, overbearing, nit-picky way about her, almost a caricature, that is common in other regions of the country, such as New York City and Chicago's North Shore. It was weird encountering that type of individual in rural Nebraska, but there she fuckin was, exhibiting all of those distinctive behavioral traits.
I think I accidentally walked past her house one day after I adopted my dog. During that week, I was staying around the cross streets of 27th and O, in Lincoln. My dog was very hyper active and needed me to walk her for hours in a large radius every day, just to burn off energy. We'd go dozens of blocks all over the city. One day while she was running ahead of me on the extending leash, I looked in the distance and saw a little hobbit looking person on the cement steps of a big house. I could have sworn it was Sash, so I turned around right away and started running in the opposite direction with the leash. I didn't want Sash to think that I was trying to find out where she lived, which I wasn't. It was an accident. I wasn't sure if I should have said something to her at work about it, or mentioned that I was staying nearby and just needed to walk my energetic dog. Since I was grossed out by Sash and am reserved around people who disgust me, I just didn't say anything about it and hoped she hadn't recognized me.
One thing I was oblivious to during most of my time at Shakers was the fact that Sash was a reader of StripperLaborRights.com. I knew that the staff was aware of it, but I did not realize how far it went with the dancers until it was too late. Apparently Sash did know about my blog for a while and was reading it. As time went on into late 2017, she developed an obsessive interest in bothering and harassing me. Sash Seamans has been a lot more passionate and had a lot more emotional investment in getting my attention than the other way around.
One night in December, Sash and DJ Steve Loe were talking loudly about a desire to “fuck up” my “whole world.” Steve was explaining to her the things that he likes to do to harass dancers, and Sash was giggling, stating that it would “feel like the walls are closing in!” Sash began doing things like walking past me and saying, “FUCK YOU!” I partially blame DJ Steve Loe for this behavior. He is twice her age, much more powerful and controlling. She's just a little narcissistic dingaling waking up to the world. Steve Loe is a pathetic person, but a person with a lot of influence over the behavior of dancers and how they treat one another. That being said, Sash is an adult and the way she was acting was very inappropriate. She is thin skinned, and like Steve Loe, she has a tendency to get way too wrapped up in small things that don't matter. I don't know why Sash tried so hard to get my attention.
On the night that I told Steve I wasn't going on stage any more, Sash freaked out and got misty eyed. She nervously stared up at Steve from the main floor, as though some catastrophic event just took place. While Steve was freaking out, talking to Dillon privately and temporarily not doing shit on the microphone any more, Sash was busily slandering me to customers and coworkers. To this day I do not understand why she would get so emotional and upset about what I am doing, but I do understand that she is mentally ill and that Shakers is a tiny pink barn without a lot of square footage. Her emotional attachment to Shakers and the staff wasn't very healthy, and the violence that she later displayed toward me was not deserved. Sash Seamans would benefit from seeing a physician. It is easier for me to look at it from a clinical perspective.
Sash's maniacal state increased exponentially in my last weeks at Shakers. I totally ignored her, said nothing and did nothing to her in response. I hustled like a viper and sold the most expensive penthouse VIP rooms out of spite. I would simply make eye contact with a guy, penetrate his soul, and he would go to the ATM machine. Whenever that happened, Sash would start freaking out, run over to the DJ or to Bergen and kvetch about me. My advice to dancers experiencing this kind of resistance when hustling, is that you really have to just become a zen master and clear all of the Sash Seamans types from your mind, focus on the hustle and how to convince someone that your time is worthy of his money.
Sash didn't get it. She would follow me around and approach customers who I just finished with. She would present her unsightly face to them, get rejected, and start stomping and whining. She wasn't that great of a hustler before, but especially during my final weeks, there were many nights that she didn't sell any dances at all. Her energy and attention were mostly devoted to me, while I completely ignored her. It was really weird. I didn't know if I should have said something to her or notified her that I wasn't the enemy. I didn't know what to do, all the while Steve Loe was fueling her fanaticism and making it worse.